Poor Matthew's Almanac of Popular Wit & Wisdom

"Even after you finally get the monkey off your back,
he may have left behind a little memento to clean up."

Poor Matthew's Almanac of Popular Wit & Wisdom

"Better to be a wise ass then a dumb one."

Asses are necessary, after all. Try living without one for awhile.

A man without an ass in his life is a man without comfort in his life.

Poor Matthew's Almanac of Popular Wit & Wisdom

"You can learn so much about adults by observing children. Adults exhibit the same sorts of behavior, they've just dressed it up and disguised it a bit." - Matthew Swope

Poor Matthew's Almanac of Popular Wit & Wisdom

"Children are born as animals - we have to teach them to be human." - Matthew Swope